What to do when libidos don’t match?

Every person is different regarding outlook, habit, lifestyle, etc. The same is the case with sex drive, competence in sexual performance, and even the perspective of sex. The male and the female nurture a different taste in perceiving and enacting sex, even more. Therefore, when they engage in a union of sexual activities through marriage or a loving relationship, these differences in sexual drive and performance can become a point of contradiction, divergence, and difference. How to deal with mismatched libidos is a matter of concern for many. Let’s discuss some tips.

Mismatched Libidos in Relationships

The libido in each person is different. The sexual urge also differs. Sometimes the male needs to have sex, and often and sometimes vice versa. But the problem that creates the most havoc is the fantasized thoughts regarding sex. The female will have a preconceived notion regarding how a male should behave in a sexual encounter, how the sexual procedure should be conducted, and how many times the sessions must be prolonged. If the male does not hold that much libido and if he is in a low profile, the attitude of the female will impose pressure on his sexual activities, resulting in performance anxiety, loss of vigor, and finally exhibiting a poor sexual show. This can happen in reverse order, too. The difference in sexual drives or mismatched libidos must be addressed across a wide spectrum. The challenges and frustrations must be addressed and navigated in different ways.

The Role of Communication in Addressing Differences in Sex Drive:

The magical key to opening the redressal box of mismatched libidos is through open communication. Both partners should discuss all their feelings, needs, and concepts about sex. But the pertinent point about the discussion is that it must be unconditional, without criticizing each other. While engrossed in the dialogue, please give due weight to the partner’s perspective, which contains his or her emotional and physical features that trigger the difference.

Navigating Sexual Expectations and Fantasies

While dealing with our libido concepts and even our partner’s libidos, do not roam around illusions and immature fantasies.  Porn magazines, porn movies, and other sexually misleading films usually induce these fantasies and illusions, which are far from realistic expressions of sex and love.

One of the main solutions to overcome mismatched libidos is to caress the partner’s emotions by building up a thick bond. Spend more time with your partner and engage in love-making non-sexually.

Building Emotional Bonds in Relationships:

During the discussion time, find the areas and points where the two partners can strike a chord and explore new activities which the partners are not used to.

The partner with high libido must be compassionate to the partner with low libido and guide the partner to initiate new steps to increase the libido, reduce stress and performance anxiety, and improve general health. If the low libido is due to any sexual disorders, try to overcome them naturally. If they persist, seek the help of a qualified and experienced sexologist.

Exploring Non-Sexual Intimacy

Seeking professional help is not limited to plucking out sexual disorders through medication alone. However, employ the services of a sex therapist or counselor to track out the underlying issues causing mismatched libidos. He must be able to organize the behavior patterns of both partners in such a way that they will converge at a point.

Practical Steps

• Admit and respect each other’s perspectives and feelings. Sexual activity is not something to be forced. Consent from the partner and rapport with the partner are very essential.
• Secondly, the mismatched libido issue cannot be resolved all of a sudden. It will take its own time. So, be patient and empathetic.
• One thing the partners need to keep in mind is that sex is not the only thing that decides the fate of conjugal life; emotional bonding and love also play crucial roles.

Seeking Professional Help to Deal With Mismatched Libidos

If you feel you and your spouse hang in mismatched libidos and are unaware of how to deal with mismatched libidos, please consult the legendary sexual wellness clinic of Kerala, Dr. Rana’s Medical Hall. This clinical conglomerate has a legacy of six decades of emancipating the sexual disorders that happened to our clients through holistic, herbal medication and conducting psychological sex therapy sessions to erase the psychological tussles hampering sexual well-being. You can fix the mismatched libido problem by visiting and attending the therapy sessions in Kochi, Kottayam, Thrissur, Alappuzha, and Angamaly clinics. Dr. Althaf Ibrahem Rana, an eminent sexologist who has mastered herbal medication and psychological therapy, is the CEO of Dr. Rana’s Medical Hall. The clinic also provides online consultations.